A Pristine Leather-Bound Book (Journal) by Shadesoul

[Keeper Of Lore]

by Shadesoul

The following is written in a neat, clean penmanship, the ink tinted slightly green.

My body hurts.

By the Nether, I don't think I've ever felt like this in all my days. It's an ache or a burn or a throb.

It can't fucking stay one thing long enough for me to tell.

It must have been those stones, whatever the fel they were.Bloodthistle and Arcane Dust, heated and fused. I didn't know what Iwas making, but ... I've always been the experimenter. He seemed toenjoy them... from the things I can remember I certainly did.


Illegal though? Really? Maybe I -have- been away too long. But -- Ialways used to be able to get out of trouble anyway. Being in charge ofthe Brigade had advantages like that. Fel, I kept Dae out of jail forhow long again? I can maybe see why though.. it hurts me.. thewithdrawl? ... No, not so soon..

Control, Shadesoul..

You've relied on it so far. Do it again.

Control.
Control...

The writing becomes a little less neat, as the letters look shaky.

I... fuck, hold on....

...............

The writing seems to be back to it's normal shape.

At least I have my stones. Those little green stones. I'm drainingthrough my soul shards, but it's working enough for me to get this alldown.

Hah, I still feel a little tingle from those glowing pink stones withmy own reagent working to dull the pain. Mmh, it.... it lovely still, Ihaven't felt anything like it in a long time.

No.. last night I suppose.

.....

I took him -- right there in the grass. We didn't even disrobe fully.It was... magnificent. His body opened to me so easily, but even thatseems to be just a dream. The feeling though... that wonderful tingleas I moved inside of him.. heard his little whimpers..

Bliss.


I will keep making these, I think... but I must Control. Grim will nottolerate me turning into such a thing like a Wretched. Not that it hasany magic to it, but .... addiction is dangerous.


No. It won't be an issue. I Control the Nether.. the Void.. the Fel.

One little stone will be fine.


As long as he's there to help me...

[Keeper Of Lore]

An interesting night.

We fought again.. in the Gulch mostly, although we tried our hands atthe arenas as well. We missed the time limit for our tenth match bymere seconds. I was not happy, but 3-6 isn't such a bad record.. andhey, we're 1-0 already for this week. That's a positive.

He couldn't tell me, it was quite adorable. He was all red andstammering. So I said for him.. for both of us I guess. He's mine..

My babe.. -snickers-

But then an arg --- no... a disagreement. Words.. that's all they arebut -- I worry. Grim is not known for being forgiving.. althoughgossip-mongering is highly frowned upon -- I still worry.


All the same.. I have that passion again. We fight for the Mandate.. so the Horde can live free with no enemies.

Peace through Annihilation is our motto.

He is my Peace.

I fight for him, for the Mandate.


But more for him.

[Keeper Of Lore]

Nothingspectacular in a long while. Bir and I were supposed to spend a nightgetting to know each other a lot better, not that we don't already but-- there's always more.

The Cavern, however, told me otherwise. I could barely walk after ourfirst meeting with Morogrim, he was obviously upset, but he warmedquickly.

For revenge, some guildmates of his accompanied us into theSteamvaults. The slaughter was glorious. We also dabbled more in thearena, going two and two. For the week, we are three and two. Not bad,really.

I perfected my Blood Gems. I toned down the Arcane Dust and added morethistle, giving them that glowing red color they should be known for indue time.

There's other ingredients as well, but none I'll dare enter into this tome. After all, I plan on marketing this...

It should make me some good coin..

I just need to find a... dealer...

[Keeper Of Lore]

The following entry seems more rushed and hastily written than the previous ones.

Tonight will be different. We delve into the Cavern again to face the Tidewalker and his murlocs.

But we will not fail.

I won't. I refuse to.

We will take down another of the Serpent's lieutenants, one step closer to taking down the traitor bitch herself.

Vashj, the cursed snake that doomed us to where we are in the first place.
The one that caused the prince to turn.


This is all her fault.

All of it.

I will make sure her head falls from her shoulders.


For my people.


For the Mandate, of course.


... For him.

[Keeper Of Lore]

We lacked the numbers to assault the Cavern this evening, so Bir and Ifinished our weekly matches. We played one extra, and finished five andsix. Improvement.

Silvermoon was attacked by Alliance stricken with Madness. They decidedto strip down and dance as they died repeatedly.. ah well, I stocked upon soul shards.


Kovan.... thanked me tonight -- for making him happy. He sees.. I am glad.

We talked on a rock in Nagrand, overlooking one of Ner'zhul's portals.He was high... I wanted to be, but we had an argument instead. I burnedmy experiment after returning to Silvermoon... except one.


I'm rambling, leaving everything jumbled, just like how this evening felt.


Mixed up.

But he steadies me.

He's waiting for me.. good night.

[Keeper Of Lore]

This entry seems hastily written. As if the actual point of writing it into the journal was a mere afterthought.

Remind me why I care.

Oh, that's right, you're just a book. And I'm the only one reading it.


I'm losing it. He keeps me controlled for now, but I wish...

Oh... I wish...

It.
Would.
All.



BURN!


We should.

We can.
We control it.
We do.



They all pale in comparison to him..


So we should end them.



All of them.


They don't deserve it.. what they have. They hurt him... I see it.

I won't allow it.
No.




Never again.


Peace.


for him.

[Keeper Of Lore]

Abandoned.


He's gone. Instead of letting me help -- he ran.

Fine.



I received correspondence as well as simple hearsay. He left.

Left.


....


I will schedule another Inquisition.

I need to make sure I regain my focus.

It is all for the Mandate now.

Not for him.
Not for me.


No --


For the Mandate because -- there is nothing left.

[Keeper Of Lore]

The ex-lover of my ex-lover asked me to do what he could not .... again... while the latter dies.


Why should I?
Oh.. he threatened me with violence if I refuse.
Pfft, I beat him once ... no, twice -- he does not scare me.


... But really, why should I?

I shouldn't be caring anymore, right?


.... Then why do I?

[Keeper Of Lore]

Something... doesn't feel right.


something's wrong



i will look

later



it all just feels wrong

[Keeper Of Lore]

I killed him.

I did.. I sunk the dagger right under his ribs, right into his heart. Istill don't think they've cleaned the stains from the infirmary floor.

Yet he lives. Which .... hurts.

It hurt when I did it.
It seared me alive when he asked me why.

I cried, I sobbed, I begged.
Pathetic creature, stooping so low, you are a Harbinger now, Shadesoul. Fucking act like one.

Kovan came to me today, we talked in Nagrand, on a different rock.Good. I don't want him contaminating ours. He asked me if I loved him.I told him the same thing I told Bir. He didn't buy it. So he asked meagain.


Of course I love him.
But he doesn't care.
He complains.
He whines.
He doesn't see.
He doesn't See.
He Doesn't See....



That two waste away...

... while he does not.




We are taking from him what he wants. Pain... suffering.
It is what he uses to feel alive.
It is his validation.
It is all he has left.


I hurt for him...
and it causes him to hurt, because he can't feel it.


So...

now what?

[Keeper Of Lore]

He's joined The Cross.

... I... I'm completely outraged. If there was ever an enemy The Grim had within the Horde, it would be them.

... I am betrayed.

I never want to see him again.



Because if I do, I'll fucking kill him.