There is a savage ecstasy
pleasure
pride
in feeling the blades
hammers
spells
of so many at once tearing at me
burning me
slicing me
and yet surviving.
Perhaps surviving is not the right word.
I relish the experience.
Savor the moments.
The healing is almost anathema to the hurt.
And yet it prolongs the sensations.
I have become very hard to kill.
Amusing
for one who so very much wanted to die.
A curious meeting
Those who delve into the depths
Those who take the fight to the Alliance
One group quite large
The other quite small
I belong to neither.
And yet I dance with the Alliance with great relish
Slaying
Healing
Dying
Living
and treasuring every fucking wound.
And they wonder why I laugh when I am called priestess.
A Prayer Book (Journal)
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
I listen
to the beautiful ones
the ones who are fair
I do not want to
but I find my hearthstone open
voices pouring forth
I listen while I kill.
their
chatter
their
banter
their
lives
I often wonder why I do so
Why I do not
silence the noise
so that I can better hear the screams
theirs
mine
The difference is meaningless.
I have no faith
no ambition
no pride
no real reasons
there is breathing and the beating of hearts
while instead I have
feeding and murder
Unconscious reactions.
Going through motions?
I remember shaking with hate
Now I am quiet.
Perhaps I am at peace.
A serene murderer
Bloodstained
mine and theirs
Scarred
Beaten and torn.
wounds
Peace
Peace
through what I do
Annihilation
Oh sweet mercy I understand_____ __ _
to the beautiful ones
the ones who are fair
I do not want to
but I find my hearthstone open
voices pouring forth
I listen while I kill.
their
chatter
their
banter
their
lives
I often wonder why I do so
Why I do not
silence the noise
so that I can better hear the screams
theirs
mine
The difference is meaningless.
I have no faith
no ambition
no pride
no real reasons
there is breathing and the beating of hearts
while instead I have
feeding and murder
Unconscious reactions.
Going through motions?
I remember shaking with hate
Now I am quiet.
Perhaps I am at peace.
A serene murderer
Bloodstained
mine and theirs
Scarred
Beaten and torn.
wounds
Peace
Peace
through what I do
Annihilation
Oh sweet mercy I understand_____ __ _
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
Clarity through Purpose
Serenity through Violence
Peace through Annihilation
Every death is a step along the path
toward the end
I have long since lost my self-loathing
My abhorence for what I do
But also the savage ectasy that went along with
the murder
the release
The living do not hate the act of breathing
They do not loathe the beating of their hearts
as I do not question my killing
I grow
restless
impatient
angry
when I am not moving forward
not traveling along the path
not stepping over the corpses
I am not sure it is bloodlust
rather instead, desire to complete the work.
Once the work is done
I wonder if I will stop
I very much doubt it.
There will always be another breath to take.
Serenity through Violence
Peace through Annihilation
Every death is a step along the path
toward the end
I have long since lost my self-loathing
My abhorence for what I do
But also the savage ectasy that went along with
the murder
the release
The living do not hate the act of breathing
They do not loathe the beating of their hearts
as I do not question my killing
I grow
restless
impatient
angry
when I am not moving forward
not traveling along the path
not stepping over the corpses
I am not sure it is bloodlust
rather instead, desire to complete the work.
Once the work is done
I wonder if I will stop
I very much doubt it.
There will always be another breath to take.
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
The girl.
She is an impediment to what I do.
Through her words.
Through her ventures devoid of
results
The actions of the brethren are not my concern
unless they impede my killing.
As she does.
Perhaps she will choose
to put her blades inside of me
an acceptable bonus
for removing an impediment
There is much to be done.
So much that I rarely think of him
Rarely.
She is an impediment to what I do.
Through her words.
Through her ventures devoid of
results
The actions of the brethren are not my concern
unless they impede my killing.
As she does.
Perhaps she will choose
to put her blades inside of me
an acceptable bonus
for removing an impediment
There is much to be done.
So much that I rarely think of him
Rarely.
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
Grim.
not to be placated or appeased or moved by entreaty
grim determination
grim necessity
grim stance
yes
ghastly, shockingly repellent, inspiring horror
grim aftermath of the slaying
grim task of burying the victims
oh my yes
black, harshly ironic, sinister
grim joke
grim laughter
I laugh
at it all
causing dejection
grim tidings
my presence
dour, harshly uninviting, formidable in manner or appearance
grim visage
look at me
look at what is left of me
gloomy, characterized by hopelessness, filled with gloom
grim view
grim outlook
grim mind
Peace through Annihilation
Grim.
I am Grim.
That word is myself.
I am that word.
Put the those who are not
in the dirt
once the screaming has stopped____ __ _
not to be placated or appeased or moved by entreaty
grim determination
grim necessity
grim stance
yes
ghastly, shockingly repellent, inspiring horror
grim aftermath of the slaying
grim task of burying the victims
oh my yes
black, harshly ironic, sinister
grim joke
grim laughter
I laugh
at it all
causing dejection
grim tidings
my presence
dour, harshly uninviting, formidable in manner or appearance
grim visage
look at me
look at what is left of me
gloomy, characterized by hopelessness, filled with gloom
grim view
grim outlook
grim mind
Peace through Annihilation
Grim.
I am Grim.
That word is myself.
I am that word.
Put the those who are not
in the dirt
once the screaming has stopped____ __ _
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
My
enthusiasm
clarity
focus
has resonated in small ways
a nod
a smirk
a death
here there and everywhere
The rogue
Aleryn
has facilitated my killing
there is glory which is of no use
there is accord which is of no concern
there is fame which is of no value
there is death
there is murder oh my
a currency
a value
a benchmark
payment
blood owed
owed to my Grim
Those not of The Word
will pay in full
_m y Gri m ?___ __ _ _
enthusiasm
clarity
focus
has resonated in small ways
a nod
a smirk
a death
here there and everywhere
The rogue
Aleryn
has facilitated my killing
there is glory which is of no use
there is accord which is of no concern
there is fame which is of no value
there is death
there is murder oh my
a currency
a value
a benchmark
payment
blood owed
owed to my Grim
Those not of The Word
will pay in full
_m y Gri m ?___ __ _ _
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
The knife is in me before I realize I have been set upon
deep between my shoulders
My scream inspires terror
a small second of respite
I turn
It is not him.
A human female.
It is over quickly once my magics find her
I force her knives down her throat
before the light leaves her eyes
It is never him.
I wonder if he is in the ground.
I wonder if I can forget.
I wonder if there could be another.
Time heals all wounds
trite
There are moments now
when I hope our enemies
breed like vermin
so I do not ever have to stop killing.
deep between my shoulders
My scream inspires terror
a small second of respite
I turn
It is not him.
A human female.
It is over quickly once my magics find her
I force her knives down her throat
before the light leaves her eyes
It is never him.
I wonder if he is in the ground.
I wonder if I can forget.
I wonder if there could be another.
Time heals all wounds
trite
There are moments now
when I hope our enemies
breed like vermin
so I do not ever have to stop killing.
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
Our zeal
at some point
will prevail.
It is inevitable.
What I need most
the killing
the murder
the violence
will no longer be necessary.
I
will no longer be necessary
according to some
kill them all
they do not understand the meaning of
all
so they wonder why I laugh
while I wonder which will die first
a few I have
sentiment
toward
they will die last
at some point
will prevail.
It is inevitable.
What I need most
the killing
the murder
the violence
will no longer be necessary.
I
will no longer be necessary
according to some
kill them all
they do not understand the meaning of
all
so they wonder why I laugh
while I wonder which will die first
a few I have
sentiment
toward
they will die last
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
here is looking back
meaningless
there is looking forward
hopeless
instead I just do
what needs to be done in
the moment
that moment
this moment
one was
expelled
one of the elves
does not matter
what matters is
how he got in
how he got to be
necessary
to some
I have smelled fear
on the Inquisitor before
She seems to see inside me
with those eyes
Perhaps I will look inside her
with my teeth
perhaps find The Word
inside of her
meaningless
there is looking forward
hopeless
instead I just do
what needs to be done in
the moment
that moment
this moment
one was
expelled
one of the elves
does not matter
what matters is
how he got in
how he got to be
necessary
to some
I have smelled fear
on the Inquisitor before
She seems to see inside me
with those eyes
Perhaps I will look inside her
with my teeth
perhaps find The Word
inside of her
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
there are times when I do wonder
an indulgence
a luxury of thought
I draw upon the light
I murder with divinity
I heal in order to slay
Purity in a corrupt vessel
and I wonder
why?
A fleeting thought.
But one that occasionally occupies
my attention.
A power that holds my pieces together
so that I can pull their pieces apart
Am I thankful?
No.
Because that is meaningless.
I will do what I do until I cannot anymore
whether that is brought about by my end
or all of theirs
does not matter.
If they understood
perhaps I would not have to kill them all
but I am not sure I would prefer that
an indulgence
a luxury of thought
I draw upon the light
I murder with divinity
I heal in order to slay
Purity in a corrupt vessel
and I wonder
why?
A fleeting thought.
But one that occasionally occupies
my attention.
A power that holds my pieces together
so that I can pull their pieces apart
Am I thankful?
No.
Because that is meaningless.
I will do what I do until I cannot anymore
whether that is brought about by my end
or all of theirs
does not matter.
If they understood
perhaps I would not have to kill them all
but I am not sure I would prefer that
Re: A Prayer Book (Journal)
Acherontia
Her task
I am not sure why I agreed to do so
Perhaps my love returning has made me
sentimental
Perhaps I feel remorse for our past
conflict
Perhaps I see an
ally
Perhaps I want to find out more of what
she wants
so that I can destroy her desires
see it in her eyes
before pulling her open
Perhaps I will find out
when she does
and we will both see
My love
myself
we will try to perform the task
the old one
the young one
bring them back
bring them to new vessels
the task of bringing death back to life
is repugnant to me
I kill
this is anathema to what I do
what I am
and yet I do it
I wonder if I hate her
Her task
I am not sure why I agreed to do so
Perhaps my love returning has made me
sentimental
Perhaps I feel remorse for our past
conflict
Perhaps I see an
ally
Perhaps I want to find out more of what
she wants
so that I can destroy her desires
see it in her eyes
before pulling her open
Perhaps I will find out
when she does
and we will both see
My love
myself
we will try to perform the task
the old one
the young one
bring them back
bring them to new vessels
the task of bringing death back to life
is repugnant to me
I kill
this is anathema to what I do
what I am
and yet I do it
I wonder if I hate her