The First Gnome
Trilok - December 8, 2005
raid finished, a raid done.. The Grim battle worn and tired rest
in the Gallow's Tavern sipping ale and sharing their new memories
of their new home in westfall. Ayabba speaks up about gnomes and
their deaths which is where my story begins.
"You see, I do not kill all gnomes on sight, but instead I choose
to let them entertain. A few months ago I was the victim of a
gnomish transporter failure, when this occurred I had switched
places with a gnome from his home in gnomeragon. I had heard
things about him throwing bombs with guildmates but these are
stories still unknown to me."
"I have learned things about gnomes as if one of their own, I
presume this is due to them thinking I was just a gnome that had
grown fur. *chuckles* None the less, I gained first had
experience."
Trilok calms the room and grabs their attention by standing upon
a table near the fire... ignoring the now passed out drunken
Snowfeather lying on the floor.
"I would like to tell you all the story of . . . The First
Gnome!"
"Earlier this week, I was swimming from Durator to Darkshore (as
I like to stay in shape) and I came across a small island. This
island had been used, and perhaps often. You see on this small
piece of land were four spot lights and a landing pad of sorts.
Most likely this had been for a goblin craft to land upon. I'm
not quite sure how they got to shore, but this is none of my
concern for now.. it will be examined at a later time."
"Exactly whether or not this was gnomish or goblin design is not
what I'm here to speak of, only to lead you in to the story I
have to say. The question I originally asked myself was 'Who made
this?' I have spent my time around the world and I have met many
goblins and many thanks to my time in gnomeragon I understand
their inner workings as well."
"To understand who created this craft of flight one must
understand how they operate. Seeing how the lights were still on
I believe it must have been a goblin landing pad and to be honest
I would rather fly in a goblin ship than in a gnome ship."
"Many think, 'but goblin toys explode!! How is that safe?' This
is quite safe indeed! Goblins know that their devices are prone
to explode, in fact they relish knowing so. Sparks are joy,
flames are beauty, but often result in goblin death. This is
often why goblins tell stories of missing limbs and
disfigurements. These are their battle stories. So what happens
when something explodes? Surely there are some 'oohs' and 'aahs'
but also the goblins ackowledge that a problem had occured..
unless of course they were crafting yet another bomb. *as he
slightly chuckles* Does one look for the goblin? Of course not
they were probably burned alive, instead they immediately get
back to work to fix the problem. So in effect, goblin technolgy
is quite safe as improvements are made with every explosion!"
"But gnomes... this is an entirely different story all together.
As many of you know, gnomes do not deal with explosions. In fact
they are quite keen on this and you will never see any gnomish
invention explode. I noticed many safety checks all to ensure
they seperate themselves from the 'foolish' goblins. Does this
make them safer? I'd like to think not."
"I mean... How would a gnomish craft operate?"
"Its simple.. if you're a gnome."
"Reverse Gravity!"
"Gravity keeps us on the ground, and if we wish to move without
being on the ground we must defy gravity.. or simply reverse it
so we stay in the air."
"This brings me upon the question to you all here tonight. How
many gnomes are lost after the first.... The First Gnome? If the
first uses the craft and disappears, it was a success for not
exploding but now there is a missing gnome. This gnome must be
found, so a second gnome is sent out in the same style so he may
find the first and return him. How many gnomes are lost?"
Trilok Silences as he looks around, seeing many confused looks on
many faces.
"FOUR!" Sehkar yells, "Four Gnomes!"
"Are you su" Trilok tried to ask.
"THREE!" ... "I Think then it was three." Sehkar chimes in again.
"..." Trilok doesn't even get a chance to speak before Sehkar
speaks once more
"Two? Maybe it was two?"
"Wait no it was Four, I'm positive it had to be four." Sehkar
states with the convincing look one gets while watching a goblin
lava lantern.
Trilok lets out a hearty chuckle. "This is the true question
Sehkar, How many chase after this first gnome? How long before
they actually attempt to correct the problem and then run the
test a second time? Then what? If it fails how many more gnomes
will be lost?"
"This is why I prefer not to slay gnomes unless they actively
participate in the war, for if they do not.. they shall provide
me with endless entertainment while sending countless gnomes to
their deaths unknowingly."