A Small Contraption with a Speaker-Horn

[Cobrak]

A small whirring gizmo propels itself into the Grim halls, blaring a triumphant tune for all to hear. As you bend down to investigate, the music stops to be replaced by the grating sound of warbling static.

*Kkkzzzzzttt*

"Hey dingbat, this thing on?....There is no light!....DId you reset the voice modulator?....I know what I'm doin', numbnuts!....You sunuva....Gimme the controls! GIMME!"

*CRASH THUD WHIIIIRRRRRRR SMACK CRASH*

*Kzzzzzztttttttttt*

"Ahem. Greetin's and salutation's and all that jazz, Grim folks. My name's Whazat Blastwhizzle...Thief, entrepreneur, assassin, saboteur, and professional love-maker of epic proportions. Impressed yet? You might be wonderin' why someone of my caliber and prestige would grace yer little selves with one of my inventions. Ya see, I have my fingers in a lot pies...and all them pies are about makin' me money...one such venture is makin' sure our 'glorious' Horde's borders are kept safe from all sorts...Like them Alliance mooks, for instance. A good amount of my contacts say that you're the best in the biz when it comes to makin' sure undertakers and gravediggers got job security.

Of course, now you're thinkin' bout how you could hope to pay for my services, being what they are is probably enough coin to buy a personal warship...but here's the kicker. I'll work under you pro bono...Ain't that a deal or what? No catch, no hidden fees or interests...unless of course you's borrow some cash from me, heheh....

If ya want some references to my ability, you can ask Cobrak about my skills...He's the big dumb orc with the overcompensating weapon....wait...I guess that's all of 'em! Heh heh heh! Anyways, think about it will ya? Anutha of my bots will be comin' in for your answer...Just hit the little red button on it and then say what ya want. Hit it again when you're done and it'll come home to Papa...

Now, this message will self-destruct in T-minus 10 seconds...I'd take cover if I was you."

A sudden ticking noise can be heard from the small device.

"A Heh heh heh! Just joshin' ya. That thing ain't gonna explode....Wait what?....You DID WHAT?....NO I DON'T WANT IT TO ACTUALLY EXPLODE, OGRE-BRAIN!....Wait...Oh shi! Call it back Call it back!"

The ticking continues for a few more seconds before detonating into a small fireball of smoking metal and oils. Another small device whirls itself inside before landing on the nearest table as though it were a parrot.

*Kzzzzzzztt*

"PLEASE PUSH THE RED BUTTON TO RECORD MESSAGE."


((This is Cobrak's clever goblin rogue.))

[Syreenna]

Syreena mutters something about gizmos and gadgets as she watches the shenanigans.

Finally, when everything is done blowing up and settling down, she regards the device on the table for a moment, before pressing the red button.

"This better not start shooting fire all over the place! You know Cobrak, huh? Then he's responsible for you if you burn down the guild hall. Speak to an Inquisitor or any Grim officer to walk among us."

Warily, the little rogue pushes the red button again and backs away from the device.