The New Year is fast approaching, and still I have not revealed myself to The Grim. What causes me to withhold my announcement of return? Perhaps I really am simply tired, perhaps the explanation is no more mystical than that.
The flyers posted by the being or group calling themselves the Onyx Sun apear to have been dealt with...along with their owners. It was somewhat amusing to return home and find declarations of a more petty war around the petty towers of a petty city.
"Alas Maid Mharren, must you be scuh a sterotypical pessimist?"
It is Den'ethinus I hear, of course. Even so long now in death he chides me in my minds rendition of him. What pure genius, to make oneself so permanently imprinted upon another that your post-humous rendition is strong enough to govern their subconscious.
When teaching me of The Mind he once told me that there are three aspects to the processes and operation of Memory. Acquirement, Designation and Recall. Ones memory of anything, anything at all, is wholly dependent on these steps (and of course the countless substeps to consider in each context) and failure to be precise and accurate at any one step, in either direction of process, can result in untruth.
I imagine that my acquirement of Den'ethinus' memory was quite precise and accurate, for I knew him for a long time, I was his romantic partner, his student and of course, his guarded admirer. Idealization of course will have painted him in a certain generality of esteem, but he taught me to be objective, to be emotionless and while my hearts desire for him clouds this natural and noursihed tactic, I beleive my acquired rendition of his memory was quite correct.
The aspect of Memory known as Designation is beyond the implications of the words 'complex' or 'complicated'. Here is where my memory of Den'ethinus may have been clouded for I designated his reconstruction in my mind under the headers of various well-defined (and not-so-well-defined) roles.
"What are these roles you speak of Maid Mharren? You ought to be in the know by now that Language is an imprecise matter at best and what you say might have several semantic implication. How might you atone?"
By Role I refer only to the societal constructions of expected behaviour within the various paradigms of interpersonal relations.
"And what do you know of the average eyes that may read your words, Maid Mharren?"
Yes sir, examples. Always offer another context.
A father to his Daughter occupies a similar but different role to a Father to his Son.
Certain parameters of intimacy, concern, responsibility and expectation are designated to such roles.
Physician to Patient, Faction Leader to Pleb, Ally to Enemy, etc.
My designation of Den'ethinous was always admittedly somewhat blurred, for he was my Teacher, my fathers freind and a urrogate Uncle of sorts. He was my lover and the romantic antics of lvoe and limerance are where ones renditions and reconstructions can become blurred.
Love and Limerance are noted as being two seperate things. I know that I loved Den'ethinus...as young Silvannia loves her brother and lover Sevik. I had worried for some time that it was merely limerance, and perhaps it was for a time between myself and in my regard of Den'ethinus. What he felt for me I can only imagine before the perceived guideclines of our respective roles were finally broken and crossed and left asunder in the wake of our lust, love and consumation. I have silently speculated about what his perceptions at the time might have been...but they are naught but that, speculations alone.
Recall is the final grounding aspect of memory. If you cannot Acquire then you have nothing to designate to storage. If you cannot Designate than you cannot remember what you Acquired correctly. If you cannot Recall what you acquired and subsequently designated...then you remember nothing. You will have no temporal sense. Your implicit and explicit memory stores and operations may be lost. What a turbulant world you might yourself in...insanity not far from your eyes and certain in the the eyes of those who behold you with the power to judge you.
"Maid Mharren, your brilliance and ability to spin the finest and most extensive of webs has left you vulnerable to wander."
Indeed it has. Tangents and multitudinous linear expeditions have oft' left me far from the tree, so to speak. I am babbling through script about Den'ethinous. But as I have said for a long time...You must let me work. Let me work it out. YOu shall have your answers, your ideas, your notions of unthought brilliance...if only you let me work it out.
~ illegible scripts and broken cursive bisect the page horizontally along with a roughly sketched pedigraph that is crossed out numerous times and bares only nodes marked with 'Sil'Amore' ~
Apothecary Morton has further amounted upon his initial request to 'look' at the Sil'Amore twins. He cites Sevik's sudden hostility towards him and Silvannia's tendency to adhere to her brothers wishes as reason for why he does not wish to engage them himself.
I do not know these Twins. I do not know their family name or the extent of their estate. I am trying to compile an admissible family pedigree...but such a thick taint of inbreeding in one family line is making it difficulty. One Sil'Amore begets the next, begets the next, begets the next...and so on.
Morton remains their family physician and as such he is requesting a further and more indepth analysis of the Twins heredity. Why? I cannot say. He has burdened me with many records, sheathes of charts and old films. The family tree alone is only partially recorded upon a silk wall hanging which he also submitted for my review. He tells me that the entire tree is recorded in great artistic detail upon the main wall of the Sil'Amore home on the border between the Glades and the forest to the south. I have little wish to spend countless hours atop a ladder, cross-referencing six stories of 'family'.
Especially when the requester will not tell me what he wishes the information for.
Physics is a my trade by directory, but medical examination and geneology are an appendaged trade by reputation. It would appear that such a reputation was not lost upon the Forsaken.
The Horde would appear to trust the Forsaken...at least the regular masses of plebs. I myself hold then with high caution. Yes, they too were once members of the Alliance....albeit in Life. But still...even another ex-ally can suspect another. I suspect them.
The Sil'Amore's never seem to have foudn the Forsaken anything but ideal. Even the two current holders of the estate -Master and Miss Sevik and Silvannia Sil'Amore - regard their reanimated neighbours with revere and understanding.
Perhaps their complete comfort with the Forsaken is what has Apothecary Morton spooked...If the Forsaken move without the grace of Thrall...then a high-priviledged race like the Sin'dorei (even the inbred versions in the Sil'Amore line) might be glared upon as condescending outsiders.
"Before one can hold stock in a claim of any kind, one must review the substatiating evidence Maid Mharren."
I sigh now...for all I have biased suspicion and speculation. What is more likely? That Morton is privvy from Farenell that the Twins are some sort of threat pending or following some move by the Forsaken? Or that Morton is simply a deeply engrossed and concerned physician who is not longer able to maintain the trust of his clients and would like a fully-educated second opinion?
If there are no truths in life, only liklihoods, it would appear that the latter option in this juxtaposition of motives would be the most likely.
I am not a physician though...I am doctor, yes, but I am a Philosophical Doctor...not a Medical Doctor. Should these two require actual treatment I can do little else but turn them around right back to Morton.
The Apothecary Society were interested parties in Den'ethinus' work. I am his successor and while I cannot say with any confidence that I know all, or even most , of what his real work entailed...I forsee that I will be expected by his admirers, enemies and followers to pick up where he left off.
I suspect this...becaue when the Twins arrived....the male, Sevik asked when I would be picturing his mind. How did Morton know of the Minprints? I abided more from suprise than anything else...I see only his sister in this one.
On a concluding note, I left my return notice in the Hall of the Grim. I also found that Abric has succeeded Regnanetah and leadership has become the reigns of his own drive.
I have heard some of Abric...a Forsaken. Again I must not let my personal suspicions take hold without evidence. All I need to know about Abric is that he leads the Grim. He esteemed amongst the ranks and he has been somewhat of a long-term bearer of witness to the goings on of the Grim. In reputation there is no greater knower of worldly secrets and no stricter being whom makes use of the back of his hand.
A capable leader for a capable group. Again I am reassured that I have made the right desicion to join them.
Minprint I.
Sevil Sil'Amore
