Grim Views

7/11
Late Morning

This is where I will put the darker deeds. The plans. The musings that are not all romantic and sappy, the ones that don't make me sound like a twit.

I don't want anyone thinking I'm dangerous. If they knew what I was planning, someone might warn her. Someone might tip her off.

I can't have that.

I remember. How can I forget?

The scars on my back, the feeling of nails mercilessly ripping already tender flesh...Blood coating a fine-boned elven hand...

*the writing gets a little shaky*

Punishment, indeed.

A line was crossed.

*it straightens out here*

When my training is complete, I will prove to her that I am not one to cross. For now? I whisper the words that she needs to hear. To lull her into a rather...Complacent..State.

Some part of me does still care for her.

But I cannot ever truly forgive her.

Not until she bleeds. Not until I hear her scream like I did. Not until I hear her shock, her complete disbelief as I call her out.

I want to hurt her.

Oh, Lainey...You've got no idea what's coming to you, love.

I hope you're ready.

7/11
Afternoon

I hear all kinds of whispers, these days...Especially when I'm near her.

It would be so easy...You have a dagger, use it.

She doesn't deserve to live.

Imagine how pretty she'd look bleeding for you...

It is all I can do to keep those urges at bay until the time is right.

Patience. Discipline.

Indeed.

7/14
Afternoon

I want a challenge. Something, anything. I can get all my required honor gear, yes. I can complete my training, yes. I know this. I do it anyway. It's not a challenge. I want to work for something. I want to struggle.

Maybe I should set my own goals instead of looking to others to set them for me.

It's not as if I'm useful to the Mandate without my training being complete.

Any idiot worth a damn can kill Alliance. It does not require talent.

I am proud of my accomplishment there. I aim to have slain around ten thousand of them by the time my training is complete....But that is a personal goal. Nothing more.

I am restless. Twitchy.

I don't like this feeling.