Rejects of the Season

[Keeju]

Or... He's Made a List and They're Killing You Twice

Keeju sat before the fire crackling in the tavern in Ratchet. It was the end to another Ratchet Market Day where the goblins sold off all the junk they collected from Orgrimmar's midden heap for extra copper and silver. The old adage, "Someone else's junk is someone's admission price onto the trans-oceanic ship," applies.

Keeju poured over the book in front of her, bought by trading a sleeveless t-shirt. There were still three hundred more at the book seller's so she knew she paid too much, but she didn't want to spare any copper. A flying mount was so very expensive and you could not loot copper from the bodies of dead Alliance.

She winced, trying to read out the passage on the last page. Frustrated, she attempted to read it outloud. Reading was something of a new pastime for her, since she often had to read long-winded things that the Artificer of The Grim and some rogue named Abric posted. Her orcish was certainly better, but still lacked such a thing called grammar and another thing called a vocabulary.

"Harbingah o commah....sheeah," she sounded out, "expaht."

Two ears perked at the word 'commercial' on goblin at the bar, cleaning the tap heads of his kegs. He stopped and turned to his only patron, unless you count the copulating dwarves from the Freeland Police in the blankets at the back.

"Hey. What's that you've got?"

Keeju harrumphed in frustration, "Dis book ah buy from da market. Ah be trying ta read, but choo see dat sometime Keeju find word hard!" She stuck a fat turquoise finger at the book and prodded it. "No easeh!"

He wiped his hands against his apron and nodded, moving over. "I'm a bit of a bookphile." Seeing her face at the word he laughed, "Means I like books. Let me see. Hmm.. Oh I know this book yes. 'Even the image of Greatfather Winter is sometimes used, but more as a harbinger of commercial exploit than as a supernatural titan.' So true. Why are you reading that crap?"

Keeju ruffled. "Ah buy it."

"Right well, you could have got it for free a month ago." She frowned and he patted the book then said, "Besides there's a better book by Inglebod Windsprocket that explains why Winter's Veil is the economic boon of the year. Did you know that two-thirds of all purchases are purchased during Winter's Veil? It's commercial moonglade." He laughed. "Best holiday season yet for me. Some of the Alliance made great use of the blankets at the back."

"'Economic boon,'" Keeju mimicked.

"Sure thing as you trolls say. They also don't mention Greatfather Winter's List. It's probably the most important impetus to purchase gifts in the holiday season."

"'List?'" she mimicked again, perfectly copying his whiny, nasal tone.

"You know... 'He's making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Greatfather Winter is coming to Gadgetzan.' Every little Goblin learns it. Usually it's just used because parents don't want to waste profit on buying their kids presents, but you know..."

"So he make dis list and he check it den he do wha to da bad child?"

The goblin looked at her in confusion. "I don't get what you're asking."

"Dis list. What he do wit it."

"Well, he makes it and he writes which kids have been good and which ones have been bad. Then he punishes the bad ones by not giving them presents."

Keeju's eyes widened and she closed the book abruptly. The slam startled the goblin. "I bettah hearth! Tank choo!" She didn't even get up from her stool and hearthed right there.

"Trolls... weird and cheap." He went back to the bar, whistling as he did so.

[Keeju]

Keeju found Asmodeous at Shattrath. He was organising his soul pouch, setting the purple soul gems in order. He liked to do that and Keeju didn't mind because there were plenty of soul shards to be had with him around. "Ey dere Asmo!" She chirped, holding a bolt of white wool under her arm. "So what we be doing today?"

She knew exactly what they would be doing. They both had a quest to finish for the Cenarion Expedition in Zangarmarsh which would bring them close to the Bog Lords and usually close to lazy Alliance who assumed because they were powerful they were immune to the powers of the Horde. Asmodeous and Keeju made them pay attention. Then afterward, they were going to Stonebreaker Hold because they had jobs to do and plenty of birds to kill.

Keeju's scalp collection was growing nicely. Plenty of each race, especially this one squidgoat that never learnt to run away fast enough. "Asmo!" She cackled and put the bolt down at her feet. "What we be doing?"

[Posted by Asmodeous]

Asmodeous was sitting in one of the perpetually empty buildings upon the Scryers Rise in Shattrath city. He was by nature a lonely person and within these buildings gave him the privacy to do some of his less than happy tasks. The undead was organizing his souls into different stacks, one for the souls he had taken for his own personal use and the other souls were those that were the bargains with the dark lord. Asmodeous was forbidden from using those souls in his own magic as they did not belong to him.

As he dropped the last shard into his pouch whispering the name of the soul "Arctavian" he crossed the name off of his list and stood up ready to continue on the path to the next name...

"What we be doing?"

He hung his head down, it was that troll... She used her foolish mind games on so many people telling them about voodoo curses and of their own deaths and auras. It was ridiculous that anyone would ever believe that nonsense, and now she had taken to following him around for the longest time now. She had even on occasion seen him take a soul that was required of him, which irritated Asmodeous to no end. Those times are sacred in that people should know why crossing the dark lord is a very bad idea. though occasionally she would prove to be worthwhile in killing some of the more foolish adversaries around.

"I was going back to Zangarmarsh to apparently pick up some mushrooms for the expedition, I don't very much care what she has planned for them. Though I do know they pay very well and my wand is broken." He tossed a twisted wand on the ground near her it's magic apparently gone.

He pulled his hat back down over his eyes, and walked towards the flight master.

"Come if you want to."

[Keeju]

He certainly did not look like the man they had in Orgrimmar during Winter's Veil. Keeju watched him for a sign that he could laugh like a bowl full of ooze. She watched him for a moment, eyes narrowed to see the aura about Asmodeous, but of course there was nothing. With him there never was.

"Okey. Mebbe we kill mah Alliance choo be tinking?" She picked up the bolt of wool and began to imagine what size he would take for clothing and how big a hat would need to be to fit on his head.

Posted By Asmodeous

He paused for a moment looking back at her, "I kill anything that gets in my way, you know that." He saw her playing with some cloth for a moment, "I think it will take a lot of effort to kill someone with that."

He looked at the next name on his list, "You got lucky for now..." He shoved the list back into his sleeves where he kept it and continued along the pathway, disgusted at the humor of those Aldor draenei all around the town, they were always laughing at something and he hoped secretly in his mind that eventually one would make a pact with his master just so he could have a reason to kill some of them.

He came to the flight master of Shattrath tossing a few silver pieces his way he slid past the draenei grabbing the reins of a wyvern heading on a flight towards Zabrajin.

Posted by Keeju

When they landed in the swamp of Zangarmarsh, Keeju tied the bolts of wool to her raptor and mounted up. Already Asmodeous on his demonic horse was out of the palisade and thundering northwest. Her orange raptor, chosen mostly for his unruly behaviour as opposed to his speed, lagged far behind the demon but she knew the direction they headed as they had been in the area for a long time killing ogres the day previous.

Behind the hooves of fire, there was a trail of demon taint and the lumbering forms of creatures both humanoid and animal who were attempting to catch up. Something about Asmodeous made him the initial target, even when they fought the Alliance. And yes, they did normally leave a swath of death behind them, when they dismounted by plan or by accident.

Her raptor trumpeted a greeting out to the demon horse and Keeju wondered if all the time they had been spending together had corrupted her poor stupid beast to think himself in love with the demon. It was more likely that they both feasted on the corpses of the dead and so he equated the demon with a bringer of food. Asmodeous had stopped, he dismounted and his demon disappeared into the that mystical realm that demons came from.

Keeju, from her height saw right off what had pulled him from his mount and she climbed onto the saddle of her raptor and jumped off, the hexes of pain leaving her fingertips and flying at the draenei shadowpriest before he could pay her heed. She screamed at the top of her lungs a cry of delight and realised in short order that there were two others with him, perhaps a fourth. No bother! Even odds.

[Keeju]

Posted by Asmodeous

Asmodeous could feel it in his bones, nearby there was a soul. Someone he felt deserved his attention, he was unsure whether the individual was a part of his list or not yet, but he did know that he wanted their soul for his collection.

Around the daggerfen village was where they were found wandering through the broken were some draenei and humans slaughtering what few could be seen. He couldn't fault them for that, those disgusting broken husks of creatures were annoying and as far as Asmodeous had ever seen they just talked through grunts and groans.

There was no particular grievance with these people, other than they had attracted Asmodeous and he felt a strong enough soul amongst them that he wanted it. Unfortunately for the rest of the strong soul's friends the only way for Asmodeous to claim that soul was to claim them all. Unfortunate for them fun for himself.

He set his eyes out upon those about the village finally stopping upon the draenei in a priestly shadowform, "You first." he reached into the dark powers that he had been granted, focusing on the priest he made a strange gesture with his hand and watched as the contagion began to overtake the draenei it's skin bubbling and separating at several locations. Asmodeous was far from done, while the corruption is painful it by itself is rarely fatal. Again making a new symbol with his hand he laid a curse upon his victim, almost immediately the sounds of bone snapping could be heard as the dark agony moved through the creature's body severing veins and eating bone.

"Perhaps you aren't the one I want after all."

Posted by Keeju

Asmodeous's focus was on the priest and Keeju ran headlong toward him. He quaked under the onslaught, perhaps in his fear he saw more attackers than just the two of them, but his allies came running and so Keeju met them into melee range and she screamed, the darkness of Baron Samedi's lament at the loss of his wife echoed in her throat, reverberated through her lungs, and shrilled their ears, slicing their hearts with that desire to flee, desire to run.

Keeju had not noticed the cut to her hamstring until she tried to bounce away, but ended up crumpling to the side. She limped away backwards, trance state burrowing her out from the pain and bringing her powers to the fore. Bounce bounce bounce from one victim to the next she dropped her spells and removed the ones upon them. Ripping the spells from them wearied her, but she cackled with the power of her dark pact with the Loa and he, in turn, fed her the energy to continue. It was a dance. She fed him, he fed her and fed Asmodeous.

The paladin broke through the fear and a holy shield surrounded her body. Keeju laughed joyously, playful in her attempts to remove it because she knew it was futile, but it was still fun to try. The paladin screamed out something in common and Keeju saw Asmodeous go slack jawed and his felhunter call out in fury. Sometimes she envied the connection he had with his demons. Keeju had no such connection to anyone or anything.

The shield disappeared and so Keeju refreshed her dark connection on the Paladin, flaying across the woman's mind the darkness of the Loa. Letting her be the sacrifice to it.

Posted by Asmodeous

The bodies lay before him, and in his hand were new soul shards. Two of which were weak souls and quickly discarded, however there was one that radiated a strong enough power that Asmodeous felt the need to keep it, and placed it amongst the shards in his pouch.

He whistled for Traafen to finish his eating and come back over. Traafen, the felhound, removed his snout from the insides of the fresh corpse entrails still dangling from his mouth, along with a the remains of intestine wrapped around his tentacles. Asmodeous removed the intestine quickly downing it himself, feeling renewed energy he called forth his dreadstead again. Flames engulfed around him and he was off towards the mushrooms of the north again.

[Keeju]

Asmodeous had not looked at his list when he killed them. Keeju pondered this while she bandaged the long gashes in her arms. She whistled over for her raptor and while he chomped on the draenei's arm, she removed a clay pot and with her hand, scooped up some of the blood then shoveled it into the pot. There wasn't much time because Asmodeous was nearly gone and at any moment the Alliance would return to their bodies, angry for retribution. Keeju had no delusions in knowing that alone she was capable of taking them on. No, she was not that powerful.

She climbed over the raptor's side and yanked him by the neckridge away from his meal. He stamped furiously into the mud, but she kicked him in the hindquarters and he bolted forward, his powerful back legs churning the waterlogged-soil and releasing spores into the air.

Northwest, following the burning path behind the demon horse, Keeju looked into her pot. There wasn't much blood in there, but it was a start. She moved her leg and could feel the wool bolt beneath it, tied to the saddle. Greatfather Winter wore red. So he would. So he would.

Posted by Asmodeous

Ogres were a foul creature never really able to make clear what they want other than a foolish phrase here and there, he supposed the mages were much more intelligent but they rarely talked and how smart could they really be if they hung out with fools all the time?

Either way they held the mushrooms that the expedition wanted and the expedition had what he wanted, so it was a means to an end, yet again there was another interloper around the ogre camp.

"What is this infestation?"

Again Asmodeous unsummoned his dreadsteed sending it back to the other world, he had a very special plan for this paladin that was wandering around. Smiling lightly he made a fist out of his hand concentrating shadow energy into it making the sign for a corrupting affliction to overtake the foolish light wielder's body. However, he stopped forming it the proper way and instead twisted the spell corrupting it further making it more volatile and unstable. directing the ball of energy at the paladin he watched as his work began destroying her body waiting and watching to see if she would fall into his trap.

The paladin most likely could feel the agony and pain of the affliction placed upon her and in proper fashion called out to her god or light source for the healing power necessary to remove the shadowy corruption... All as Asmodeous had planned. The unstable nature of the spell was separated by the light causing a massive chain reaction to explode within her shattering bone and spraying a fountain of blood all around her.

Asmodeous walked over to the corpse of the fallen paladin placing his foot upon her chest, "So predictable, yet you did make a good show."

By Keeju

Her delay behind Asmodeous brought a draenei shadow priest out of hiding. It seemed she had been hiding under a bridge, cowering in fear until Asmodeous could be gone. Keeju cackled, "Ey dere! Choo hide unda bridge like mah uncle!"

The draenei shrieked and began to run, but stumbled into an ogre and he pummeled her with his mace. Keeju clucked her tongue. "Oh no! Ah help!"

With three quick mind blasts and mind flays in between, she slaughtered the little priest. "No want choo dying in pain from da ogre now! Instead, choo feel da kiss of da Loa!" The ogre screamed his fury at having his target killed so Keeju killed him too.

There was enough priest blood in the body still, despite all the bashing by the ogre, to fill the container a quarter of the way. Keeju held the container under the priest's neck, a slice made from her dagger, while she scalped the little priest, wresting horns from her body with angry sawing. "Tank choo pretteh fah da horn. Dey gon be good to make charm wit. Shore ting." Keeju chittered at the body and knew she had time before the priest would rise again. When Alliance ran, they were too scared to fight back and so would wait patiently while she pillaged their body of everything she could use. At least someone would use it.

When the last trickle of blood dripped out and Keeju had it all over her knees and hands, she pulled her raptor away from chomping on the draenei's foot and mounted to cross the bridge. There she saw Asmodeous, playing with ogres. "Choo miss it Asmo! Ah kill dis poor priest who was gonna be killed by ogre. Ah so good!" An ogre dropped in front of Asmodeous while another ran around, screaming his ogre head off. "Ah got mah blood too! So mebbe den," she dismounted, leaving her raptor by a rock in the cave, "Ah make choo someting mah bettah fah choo. What choo be tinking?"