Indiana's Retconning

[Emmons]

Durotar : King's Calendar Year 634

A large explosion rocks the ground. The blast rips a hole in the fabric of time and space itself, probably Goblin in origin. Out from the swirling vortex of dust and stray tachyons steps Emmons Indiana, beloved protagonist of The Grim Saga, tailed closely by his assistant Jayneway Mirthwhisper.

"Aw man Jayne, what a crazy adventure. Those Ethereals get downright weird in the Twisting Nether. We always get into so much trouble. I can't believe that void creature almost swallowed that Nethership whole! I mean how did we survive that?!

"Yeah Emmons, I can't wait to go on another one of your trips. They're always so profitable, I mean- if you don't count the healer fees. I can't believe you don't tell anyone about them. I'm sure at least Syreena or Anaie would love to hear about how you spilled the- well, at least Greebo would get a kick out of the story."

"Hush Jay! I'm starting to get my land-legs again and I don't like it. You constant yammering isn't doing much for me either. Emmons needs a stiff chair and an even stiffer drink, and you're driving the Gyrocopter to the Orgrimmar tavern."

Later, at the aforementioned tavern...

"I don't care for what the orcs did to this place, Jay. I liked old Orgrimmar better without all these iron spikes, the bone ones were so much more fitting. It was all 'Blood and Thunder!' Much less confusing, Jay. What the hell is *mumble* anyways? A bunch of hoo-hah if you ask me! Probably one of them blood-elves thought it up. Oh sorry, I keep forgetting you're a blood-elf."

"Uh, h-hey Emmons?"

"What Jayenway? Can't you see I'm trying to exchange money for alcohol from this kind barkeeper?"

"W-w-what does that wall calendar say?"

"You need me to read for you too, Jay-jay? Fine. It says- HOLY SHIT JAYNEWAY!! Barkeep! What year is it!? How long were we-"

It was then that the assassin's dagger burst through Emmon's chest cavity.




To be continued...

[Emmons]

“Come with me if you want to live.” Other-Emmons stretched out his leathery hand, the other still wrapped firmly around the dagger planted in Emmons' back.

“What the fuck!?”, Jayneway replied. “I need to resurrect that poor-!”

Emmons 2 interrupted, “How stupid are you? That's not Emmons. I mean it is Emmons. I mean- in 15 seconds the guards are going to be here and you're conversing with a murderer. We need to get out of here now. You can either trust me or spend some time in a cell.” Jayneway grabbed Emmons' hand and he pulled her in close. Leaving the dagger in the fresh corpse's back, he activated his hearthstone. A moment later two Orgrimmar guards burst into the tavern. Quick as the wind the troll notched an arrow and set it loose. It struck the table behind where Emmons and Jayneway had just been standing. The Orc of the pair walked over to the dead undead body but jumped back as the dagger and wound began to hiss and sputter with sparks. The entire body soon went up in purple flames, leaving behind a smoldering pile of ash and the charred bronze hilt of a dagger.

The orc guard leaned over to the troll. “30 years on force, me getting too old for dis shit. Me retire tomorrow.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Emmons what the fuck!?” Jayneway beat her fists against the Forsaken's chest, so worked up she had subconsciously shielded herself.

“Look Jay! Jay, I can explain this one!” Jayneway stopped hitting him and crossed her arms. “There's a lot of me running around right now that isn't me. Only... they don't know they aren't me. They're sleeper mes.” Jayneway shot Emmons a 'You've-got-to-be-shitting-me' look. “Iknowiknowiknow. It sounds crazy but you should expect this kind of stuff by now. Rajev helped clue me into what was going on.” Emmons motioned towards Rajev who shouted a quick salutation to Jayneway. “Sit down because this is going to be a weird story.”

Jayneway pulled up a chair.

“You're aware that there are other worlds. You and I have both been to Outland and traveled in the Twisting Nether. I don't think it's a huge leap of logic to state that there are other, uh... versions of those worlds. Of everything, this whole reality. I don't really fully understand it myself, it's just a theory that seems to be holding up so far. Especially with the latest shake-up in the Horde leadership which Rajev will fill you in on later. Anyways, that Emmons you were with earlier? He's been posing as me. Really, really well because he is me. Another version of me. Someone is using other versions of me to try and kill this version of me.”

Jayneway interrupted, “Emmons, I'm not even going to question this crap. I'm not surprised by anything with you by now. Who could ever want you dead... again?”

Emmons responded, “I don't know right now. We actually, uh, captured one of the other Emmons'. The only thing I DO know is that whoever is sending them over to this world started doing it a while ago. That's why I've been in hiding with Rajev. They are also being possessed by demons. They don't know what they're doing.”

“Wait Emmons, in hiding? How did you get all this information?”

“Funny you should ask Jay-jay. You were actually intercepted by that impostor-Emmons. We don't know why they took you but I think they were trying to keep you away from me. That's why they took you away from here, with the trade-princes. As for the rest?” Emmons pointed to a grey brain in a jar on the shelf of the underground lair. “Got a hold of one of those fel assassins. Ul-Rezaj helped me exorcise it after I made sure it couldn't move. There were feathers involved and I'm not sure what he was doing but he kept carving something in blood onto a slab of marble.”

“Well, what do we do from here, Em?” Jayneway inquired.

The rogue smirked. “I have a plan...”

“I have 12% of a plan...”