Into The Confessional by Ellsbeth
Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 3:33 am
"Forgive me Bishop for I have sinned... it has been five weeks since my previous confession."
Ellsbeth nodded behind the shadoweave partition that separated her from the Forsaken in the booth beside her. She made the triangular sign of Sylvanas, the three-points of Free Will, Perseverance, and Contamination. "Go ahead my child."
"These are my sins." The Forsaken cleared his throat and began, "First, an perhaps my most mortal of sins was that I fell in love and had liasons with a human while I was scouting around Hillsbrad in the Caverns of Time..."
Ellsbeth inwardly sighed but outwardly turned closer so her shadow shown on the confessor's side would look interested. It had been a long day of confessions and penitence. It seemed many Forsaken were drawn to their human roots of late and with all the interaction in Outlands between Alliance and the Horde, there had been more confessions of the like. What made it worse was the desire of all the confessors to explain each liason and act to the fullest as though complete transparency would absolve them of the disgusting sin.
In truth, it reminded her of what life was like when she had been human. She had spent the better part of three hours staring at herself in a mirror while she had been in Hillsbrad. The eyes had been what she stared at, touching them, watching them move with a melancholy regret that verged on obsessive. Her own, empty eye sockets allowed her to see, but not in the way she could even in that magical disguise. The squishy feel of her eyes, the sting of dirt in them, and the tears that she allowed herself to cry.
"... all she did was compliment my hair and I haven't had hair in so long that..."
Consciously, Ellsbeth held her claw-like hands down to not touch the purple wig on her head. She'd forgotten the feel of long locks and her own silky tresses. They hadn't been grey in life, more of a dark burgundy colour, but someone else in The Grim had responded at her confusion of such a small thing to say that perhaps it was due to the shock she'd experienced in her years as scourge and then raised again as Forsaken. Perhaps. It still didn't stop her from wanting to brush it, to run her fleshy fingers through it.
It wasn't just the hair. It was everything.
"...She had such soft skin and it reminded me of my family I had before the Plague. You know Bishop, it was just like touching my wife again..."
In fact, she had sat eating an apple for over an hour. Bone teeth instead of the metal ones that were wired to her steel jaw. She reveled in the taste of the fruit as its acids attacked her taste buds, the scent inhaled by her nostrils, and the feel of the food as it dropped down her throat and into her stomach. It was heady, almost the same pious ecstacy she had received under the power of Sylvanas.
While there, she had come across the symbol of the Cult of the Damned. It had called to her desire for power, just as it had all those years before. Only she knew that it was all a farce, that in a few years she would be scourge and she would be mindless then saved by Sylvanas to listen to the inane confessions of lusty Forsaken.
"Bishop... what do you think I should do?"
Ellsbeth paused before responding, then vaguely answered, "There is much that these new temptations cause, yet we all know Her will. Her desires. Do not forget the importance of what we are doing here in Azeroth. These lusts will pass, but you should be stronger than you have been. Have you other confessions my child?"
He sounded relieved, almost childlike in his desire to release his sins, "Please Bishop, yes, I have been spending time in Karazhan, not doing the best that I could and letting down those that rely on me..."
Contaminator. She thought of all the time that he had been away. He left abruptly after the emergence of the creature that caused him to spew the delicious contamination that was part of his essence, part of what drew her to him. When she left Infection to suffer through the lost times where she wandered from guild to guild, not knowing a home or a reason. When she had questioned Sylvanas' choices and thought about the way that She had come to the High Priest with a vision of destruction of Sanctuary and then Keraph the Weak had killed Jergal out of misguided spite. She had wandered, lost, and sad, not knowing her own way. It was only when she found The Grim that purpose came back into her unlife.
Contaminator had left then, leaving her alone to discover Outland alone, to fight the Alliance alone, and to stand alone.
When he returned, it had been a return of bittersweetness. She had been loyal, even though there had been other opportunities, other partners to destroy the Scourge and strengthen the power of the Forsaken, of the Horde. So when he returned she had come as a changed person. He still spoke only in Gutterspeak. He did not like her new allies and the fact she was so busy. New forces relied upon her and she could not find the time to be with him.
He resented that.
"...I promise I will try. I truly will. I know I haven't been the best I could be."
"Yes my child." Ellsbeth had not been trying, in fact since the return of Contaminator she had lost all desire to show her face. She wondered at her lack of desire in everything that had once been so important to her: the Glory of Sylvanas, love and power. She barely desired to collect items of power. She barely wanted to preach and only did the confessionals just to keep her title of Bishop, a title that used to be everything to her.
They all spoke of depression as a disease, something that affected morale and destroyed troops before they even entered battle. Was this depression?
Did she still love Contaminator? Sure she said the words, but she did not feel any sense of connection to the words, any emotion. He had left her for months, not knowing whether he would return. She had the same feeling with him as she had with Tetsuju not so long ago. The one where she saw other women in his eyes and had a desire to control his mind to make him tell her the truth.
"...Oh and Bishop I let the gnome live I know I shouldn't have. I couldn't help it though..."
There was so much she could not help anymore. She could not help her anger at seeing any of the Lifebanes of Infection. She could not help her cold response to those who she used to call friend. She could not help how little she cared.
"Bishop, for these are the sins of my Forsaken life and please forgive me."
Ellsbeth responded, with as much conviction as her voice could muster. "I absolve you of your sins in the name of Sylvanas, the Perseverence of the Will, and the Contamination of Azeroth. Here is your penitence. You will do an act which will propagate Her Glory. You will stop your transgressions with humans. You are Forsaken now, do not live in delusions." Ellsbeth turned her head away, speaking to herself. "You know what you must do and so you will do it."
"Yes Bishop. Thank you Bishop."
Ellsbeth nodded behind the shadoweave partition that separated her from the Forsaken in the booth beside her. She made the triangular sign of Sylvanas, the three-points of Free Will, Perseverance, and Contamination. "Go ahead my child."
"These are my sins." The Forsaken cleared his throat and began, "First, an perhaps my most mortal of sins was that I fell in love and had liasons with a human while I was scouting around Hillsbrad in the Caverns of Time..."
Ellsbeth inwardly sighed but outwardly turned closer so her shadow shown on the confessor's side would look interested. It had been a long day of confessions and penitence. It seemed many Forsaken were drawn to their human roots of late and with all the interaction in Outlands between Alliance and the Horde, there had been more confessions of the like. What made it worse was the desire of all the confessors to explain each liason and act to the fullest as though complete transparency would absolve them of the disgusting sin.
In truth, it reminded her of what life was like when she had been human. She had spent the better part of three hours staring at herself in a mirror while she had been in Hillsbrad. The eyes had been what she stared at, touching them, watching them move with a melancholy regret that verged on obsessive. Her own, empty eye sockets allowed her to see, but not in the way she could even in that magical disguise. The squishy feel of her eyes, the sting of dirt in them, and the tears that she allowed herself to cry.
"... all she did was compliment my hair and I haven't had hair in so long that..."
Consciously, Ellsbeth held her claw-like hands down to not touch the purple wig on her head. She'd forgotten the feel of long locks and her own silky tresses. They hadn't been grey in life, more of a dark burgundy colour, but someone else in The Grim had responded at her confusion of such a small thing to say that perhaps it was due to the shock she'd experienced in her years as scourge and then raised again as Forsaken. Perhaps. It still didn't stop her from wanting to brush it, to run her fleshy fingers through it.
It wasn't just the hair. It was everything.
"...She had such soft skin and it reminded me of my family I had before the Plague. You know Bishop, it was just like touching my wife again..."
In fact, she had sat eating an apple for over an hour. Bone teeth instead of the metal ones that were wired to her steel jaw. She reveled in the taste of the fruit as its acids attacked her taste buds, the scent inhaled by her nostrils, and the feel of the food as it dropped down her throat and into her stomach. It was heady, almost the same pious ecstacy she had received under the power of Sylvanas.
While there, she had come across the symbol of the Cult of the Damned. It had called to her desire for power, just as it had all those years before. Only she knew that it was all a farce, that in a few years she would be scourge and she would be mindless then saved by Sylvanas to listen to the inane confessions of lusty Forsaken.
"Bishop... what do you think I should do?"
Ellsbeth paused before responding, then vaguely answered, "There is much that these new temptations cause, yet we all know Her will. Her desires. Do not forget the importance of what we are doing here in Azeroth. These lusts will pass, but you should be stronger than you have been. Have you other confessions my child?"
He sounded relieved, almost childlike in his desire to release his sins, "Please Bishop, yes, I have been spending time in Karazhan, not doing the best that I could and letting down those that rely on me..."
Contaminator. She thought of all the time that he had been away. He left abruptly after the emergence of the creature that caused him to spew the delicious contamination that was part of his essence, part of what drew her to him. When she left Infection to suffer through the lost times where she wandered from guild to guild, not knowing a home or a reason. When she had questioned Sylvanas' choices and thought about the way that She had come to the High Priest with a vision of destruction of Sanctuary and then Keraph the Weak had killed Jergal out of misguided spite. She had wandered, lost, and sad, not knowing her own way. It was only when she found The Grim that purpose came back into her unlife.
Contaminator had left then, leaving her alone to discover Outland alone, to fight the Alliance alone, and to stand alone.
When he returned, it had been a return of bittersweetness. She had been loyal, even though there had been other opportunities, other partners to destroy the Scourge and strengthen the power of the Forsaken, of the Horde. So when he returned she had come as a changed person. He still spoke only in Gutterspeak. He did not like her new allies and the fact she was so busy. New forces relied upon her and she could not find the time to be with him.
He resented that.
"...I promise I will try. I truly will. I know I haven't been the best I could be."
"Yes my child." Ellsbeth had not been trying, in fact since the return of Contaminator she had lost all desire to show her face. She wondered at her lack of desire in everything that had once been so important to her: the Glory of Sylvanas, love and power. She barely desired to collect items of power. She barely wanted to preach and only did the confessionals just to keep her title of Bishop, a title that used to be everything to her.
They all spoke of depression as a disease, something that affected morale and destroyed troops before they even entered battle. Was this depression?
Did she still love Contaminator? Sure she said the words, but she did not feel any sense of connection to the words, any emotion. He had left her for months, not knowing whether he would return. She had the same feeling with him as she had with Tetsuju not so long ago. The one where she saw other women in his eyes and had a desire to control his mind to make him tell her the truth.
"...Oh and Bishop I let the gnome live I know I shouldn't have. I couldn't help it though..."
There was so much she could not help anymore. She could not help her anger at seeing any of the Lifebanes of Infection. She could not help her cold response to those who she used to call friend. She could not help how little she cared.
"Bishop, for these are the sins of my Forsaken life and please forgive me."
Ellsbeth responded, with as much conviction as her voice could muster. "I absolve you of your sins in the name of Sylvanas, the Perseverence of the Will, and the Contamination of Azeroth. Here is your penitence. You will do an act which will propagate Her Glory. You will stop your transgressions with humans. You are Forsaken now, do not live in delusions." Ellsbeth turned her head away, speaking to herself. "You know what you must do and so you will do it."
"Yes Bishop. Thank you Bishop."