Grim Views

by Keeju

Keeju sat before the fire crackling in the tavern in Ratchet. It was the end to another Ratchet Market Day where the goblins sold off all the junk they collected from Orgrimmar's midden heap for extra copper and silver. The old adage, "Someone else's junk is someone's admission price onto the trans-oceanic ship," applies.

Keeju poured over the book in front of her, bought by trading a sleeveless t-shirt. There were still three hundred more at the book seller's so she knew she paid too much, but she didn't want to spare any copper. A flying mount was so very expensive and you could not loot copper from the bodies of dead Alliance.

She winced, trying to read out the passage on the last page. Frustrated, she attempted to read it outloud. Reading was something of a new pastime for her, since she often had to read long-winded things that the Artificer of The Grim and some rogue named Abric posted. Her orcish was certainly better, but still lacked such a thing called grammar and another thing called a vocabulary.

"Harbingah o commah....sheeah," she sounded out, "expaht."

Two ears perked at the word 'commercial' on goblin at the bar, cleaning the tap heads of his kegs. He stopped and turned to his only patron, unless you count the copulating dwarves from the Freeland Police in the blankets at the back.

"Hey. What's that you've got?"

Keeju harrumphed in frustration, "Dis book ah buy from da market. Ah be trying ta read, but choo see dat sometime Keeju find word hard!" She stuck a fat turquoise finger at the book and prodded it. "No easeh!"

He wiped his hands against his apron and nodded, moving over. "I'm a bit of a bookphile." Seeing her face at the word he laughed, "Means I like books. Let me see. Hmm.. Oh I know this book yes. 'Even the image of Greatfather Winter is sometimes used, but more as a harbinger of commercial exploit than as a supernatural titan.' So true. Why are you reading that crap?"

Keeju ruffled. "Ah buy it."

"Right well, you could have got it for free a month ago." She frowned and he patted the book then said, "Besides there's a better book by Inglebod Windsprocket that explains why Winter's Veil is the economic boon of the year. Did you know that two-thirds of all purchases are purchased during Winter's Veil? It's commercial moonglade." He laughed. "Best holiday season yet for me. Some of the Alliance made great use of the blankets at the back."

"'Economic boon,'" Keeju mimicked.

"Sure thing as you trolls say. They also don't mention Greatfather Winter's List. It's probably the most important impetus to purchase gifts in the holiday season."

"'List?'" she mimicked again, perfectly copying his whiny, nasal tone.

"You know... 'He's making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Greatfather Winter is coming to Gadgetzan.' Every little Goblin learns it. Usually it's just used because parents don't want to waste profit on buying their kids presents, but you know..."

"So he make dis list and he check it den he do wha to da bad child?"

The goblin looked at her in confusion. "I don't get what you're asking."

"Dis list. What he do wit it."

"Well, he makes it and he writes which kids have been good and which ones have been bad. Then he punishes the bad ones by not giving them presents."

Keeju's eyes widened and she closed the book abruptly. The slam startled the goblin. "I bettah hearth! Tank choo!" She didn't even get up from her stool and hearthed right there.

"Trolls... weird and cheap." He went back to the bar, whistling as he did so.

Keeju found Asmodeous at Shattrath. He was organising his soul pouch, setting the purple soul gems in order. He liked to do that and Keeju didn't mind because there were plenty of soul shards to be had with him around. "Ey dere Asmo!" She chirped, holding a bolt of white wool under her arm. "So what we be doing today?"

She knew exactly what they would be doing. They both had a quest to finish for the Cenarion Expedition in Zangarmarsh which would bring them close to the Bog Lords and usually close to lazy Alliance who assumed because they were powerful they were immune to the powers of the Horde. Asmodeous and Keeju made them pay attention. Then afterward, they were going to Stonebreaker Hold because they had jobs to do and plenty of birds to kill.

Keeju's scalp collection was growing nicely. Plenty of each race, especially this one squidgoat that never learnt to run away fast enough. "Asmo!" She cackled and put the bolt down at her feet. "What we be doing?"