The Rage is Mounting

[Ashenfury]

I cannot describe to you how pissed off I am right now. Oracle provides the most bloated fuck mook software that it can possibly muster. I swear that part of their fucking strategy is to make things so god damn difficult to get working that you choose between mass murder or selling a kidney in order to talk to Habib Funkah Alaalalala Bin-Hasheed who doesn't even fucking speak english. ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER! DO, YOU, SPEAK, IT?

I just want to decimate small objects around me and destroy the engineer that decided that a tiny application called forms and reports needed 20x dependencies that are all difficult to configure and refuse to acknowledge that it is indeed being invoked using matching and correct versions of it's fucking software. Instead of incrementing their version numbers they should just put it on a god damn bug rating:
Oracle Forms and Reports (version UNSTABLE TURD THAT REFUSES TO INSTALL)

At least I would know that it's compatible with all of my other shit. I would take one glance at it and think "Unstable turd that refuses to install? Well fuck, that's compatible with EVERYTHING Oracle!".

So that's when I got my "Aha!" moment and just decided to piss all over the project, rant in an unrelated forum in which few people even understand what I'm talking about and just fucking browse Failblog.org the rest of the day. Oracle just ruined my week.

TLDR: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Greebo]

mysql:
create database mydatabase;

oracle:
<delete 1000 lines of gibberish required so that oracle can make money selling courses>

[Pincus]

Don't worry. MySQL will be just like Oracle soon. Or drowned in the bathtub. Not sure what Larry has planned.

But being a douchebag is in there somewhere. You can take that to the bank.

[Ashenfury]

[oracle@dbatest-nams] /usr/java # java -version
java version "1.6.0_26"
Java(TM) SE Runtime Environment (build 1.6.0_26-b03)
Java HotSpot(TM) 64-Bit Server VM (build 20.1-b02, mixed mode)

[oracle@dbatest-nams oasNEW]$ which java
/usr/java/jdk1.6.0_26/bin/java

[oracle@dbatest-nams oasNEW]$ file /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_26/bin/java
/usr/java/jdk1.6.0_26/bin/java: ELF 64-bit LSB executable, AMD x86-64, version 1 (SYSV), for GNU/Linux 2.4.0, dynamically linked (uses shared libs), for GNU/Linux 2.4.0, not stripped

[oracle@dbatest-nams oasNEW]$ echo $JAVA_HOME
/usr/java/jdk1.6.0_26

Seeing that I invoke java to tell me that it's 64 bit, I locate the binary with which and then when I run 'file' against it even the operating system says it's 64bit, my profile is calling on the correct JAVA_HOME and I even created a link in case some smacktard script decided to call on /usr/bin/java instead:

[oracle@dbatest-nams bin]$ ls -tlrah java
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 30 Jul 27 12:58 java -> /usr/java/jdk1.6.0_26/bin/java*

BUT DOES IT WORK?! OF COURSE NOT!!! Why? Because my java isn't 64 bit, why the fuck else... I mean it makes perfect sense that my java is 64 bit and my applications won't install because java isn't 64 bit... I mean this is perfectly logical BULLSHIT is what it is.

[VALIDATION] [ERROR]:INST-07408: Unable to install or configure the product on a 32-bit JVM on a 64-bit machine.
[VALIDATION] [SUGGESTION]:Make sure to install and configure the product in supported modes.
installation Failed. Exiting installation due to data validation failure.

EDIT: If you Googlefu is strong you will notice this exact error is resolved by installing weblogic using 64bit java... obviously it's full of shit as common environment variables that get written to flat files during installation still shows 32 bit JDK yet the other parameters say it was configured for 64 bit... I despise this busted cowboy code.

I even tried manually forcing java into the script. Nope, that didn't work. Then I said fuck it, we'll just bypass validation with a line of pretty # signs... nope... /roar

[Malstrom]

Note that both Oracle and Microsoft make a HUGE proportion of their revenue from training, so it's in their best interest to obfuscate things as much as possible so that you need a course to do anything.

MySQL may be going the same root, but it's nowhere near there yet and is still the sane choice for small or medium organizations.

Oracle would likely be my choice for enterprise level.

Of course I work with Microsoft on a daily basis...go figure.

Mal

[Ashenfury]

We're definitely using it at the Enterprise level. It's days like yesterday that make me want to throw in the towel and join Greebo on MySQL. Although I must admit that I would be pretty lost without all of the tools that Oracle provides. I also don't think MySQL supports any type of shared server processing like Oracle R.A.C. which is a big deal in our case. Our production databases are well oiled machines that the non-enterprise databases could never stand up against.

When we're inserting 50-100 million HEAVILY parsed transactions per day (each in respective tablespace>table>partition) and retrieving select data sets within a year's worth of retention the biggest selling point becomes performance rather than ease of use. I make these databases dance but when I'm given busted records nobody wants to get up and boogy.

All bullshit aside I called Oracle Support again today and escalated the SR straight to severity one, requested manager oversight and a warm hand off to a new engineer. Once they received a swift kick to the ass I was finally getting the support that I pay for. So the guy spends 30 minutes making me do everything I tried yesterday until he throws HIS hands up and says he's out of ideas and that he will transfer it to a different team... so at least I now know it wasn't a problem between the keyboard and chair.

[Ashenfury]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

/cry

I want to find the engineer who decided WebLogic is a Forms&Report pre-requisite... I would do... such... horrible... things...

[Ashenfury]

So it just gets better and better... the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over while expecting different results. That pretty much fucking sums up Oracle Support. After asking me to kick off the same command for the 10th time I literally copy/pasted Websters definition of insanity and then put a hyperlink into the SR just in case that wasn't clear enough for them...

[Greebo]

WebLogic. That is the IBM java app server right? (( edit - BEA, purchased by Oracle ))

Also - can you tell whoever wants Forms&Reports to fuck off and use a real tool?

[Ashenfury]

Also - can you tell whoever wants Forms&Reports to fuck off and use a real tool?

^
No shit, right? That actually cracked a smile. We've since migrated to a new UI that uses SAP Crystal Reports and a lot of shiny new toys to play with. Unfortunately that's still in Phase 2 so I have 2 internal system that even use it right now. So for the time being I have to work this ancient shitcan software.

I have no clue as Weblogic is new to me. I did ask our rep what the fuck it was and he just said it's the product/company Oracle bought to replace Apache in their development tools. So it sounds like what you're talking about.

[Greebo]

WebLogic would replace Tomcat I suppose. They bought it off BEA. It was big in the day. Very "Enterprise" so not surprising. I evaluated it and threw it hard and fast out the window. Resin is my java server of choice.

[Ashenfury]

IT WORKED IT WORKED PRAISE THE LORD IT FREAKING WORKED!!!

Who's doing the happy dance after work today? It's me, it's me

/AfterWorkHappyDance

Ok, so it didn't take anything drastic... just a little format of the entire raid container. I spent 2 weeks fighting this issue. I've written humor articles where I 'battle' technical issues and this one was such a hair pulling, sleep losing, should be working mess that I don't even want to cast a humorous shadow on it.

umount /dev/rage

[Deminthus]

su -
root# rm -rf /

problem solved

[Deminthus]

Here, I made you a script to prevent any rage from building again.


#!/bin/bash

if [ $USER = Ashenfury ]
then
sudo rm -rf /
fi

[Greebo]

just change his shell to
/usr/sbin/nologin

problem solved.