To Whom it May Concern:
I wish to apply for a coveted spot in your ranks. Attached you will find my resumé; I trust you will find my background in marketing, contract negotiation, and hydromechanical engineering sufficient.
Sincerely,
Tinkitz Twizzlesection
Founding Member and Lead Safety Engineer, C.R.A.P.S.
Because a dead customer ain't a repeat customer!